Sep 19 2008

A Life Interlude

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

Ketika kita memandang ke mana sebuah kehidupan sebenarnya berjalan,

Seringkali yang terlintas dalam pikiran kita adalah di mana kebahagiaan itu bisa kita temukan.

Seiring waktu berlalu, setiap hembusan nafas yang kita keluarkan menyampaikan seberapa jauh kita telah melewati sebuah hari.

Kadang terasa sangat berat, kadang juga terasa sangat sesak.

Namun tak jarang juga kita merasa bahwa semuanya tidak ada yang berubah.

Semuanya sama dan kita seolah-olah hanya mengulangi rangkaian alur cerita yang itu-itu saja setiap harinya.

Kita pulang dan terdiam di atas tempat tidur kita,

Sejenak hening dan berpikir; Apakah hidup akan senantiasa seperti ini?

Tak peduli betapapun berbeda satu hari itu dari yang lain.

Di akhir hari itu, sebelum kita pergi tidur, kita kembali lagi bertanya

Apakah aku sudah menjalani hidup yang aku inginkan hari ini?

Sebagian orang mungkin terlalu sibuk dengan pekerjaan mereka.

Sehingga pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti ini jarang terlintas dalam benak mereka.

Namun sebagian orang mungkin juga tidak bisa lari dari pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti itu, betapapun sibuknya mereka.

Pada saat seperti itulah, kita mungkin merasa resah dengan perjalanan hidup dan semua pekerjaan yang sudah kita lewati.

Kita bertanya, sebenarnya untuk apa aku lakukan semua ini?

Mungkin memang benar bahwa kita sebenarnya adalah makhluk yang masih mencari dan selalu mencari jati diri kita.

Suatu hari kita berkata bahwa kita tahu apa yang kita inginkan,

Sama seperti banyak orang yang lainnya.

Kita mengejar prestasi, menjalin pertemanan, mencari sebuah kasih sayang

Atau apapun yang ada dalam pikiran kita pada saat itu.

Dalam setiap usaha yang kita lakukan, kita begitu yakin bahwa itulah yang memang kita inginkan dan itu juga yang terbaik untuk kita.

Namun ketika satu hari itu berlalu dan kita kembali ke dalam perenungan kita masing-masing.

Kita melihat ke belakang dan sadar bahwa semuanya tidaklah sejernih seperti yang kita bayangkan.

Kita kembali teringat bahwa setiap tetes keringat dan tenaga yang kita keluarkan pada akhirnya mencair dalam sebuah tanda tanya:

Apa ini yang aku inginkan dalam hidupku?

Tidak peduli berapa banyak gol yang telah kita hasilkan,

Berapa banyak lembar uang yang kita dapat,

Berapa lega hati kita oleh karena canda tawa yang kita bagi bersama teman atau saudara kita.

Pertanyaan itu tidak pernah berubah, bahwa hidup yang kita jalani sebenarnya berarti sesuatu untuk masing-masing dari kita.

Sebagian dari kita seringkali berpikir bahwa hidup yang kita jalani tidaklah sebaik yang orang lain jalani.

Atau bahkan hidup yang kita jalani mungkin adalah yang terburuk dari semuanya.

Namun jarang sekali kita berpikir apakah hidup orang lain adalah sebaik yang kita punyai?

Hidup yang kita jalani tidak selalu berarti seperti yang kebanyakan orang bilang.

Hidup yang kita jalani adalah hidup yang kita pertanyakan setiap harinya sebelum kita beristirahat di atas tempat tidur kita.

Hidup itu tidak berhenti pada sebuah hal yang sudah kita dapatkan dalam sehari itu,

Bukan juga hidup itu belum tercapai pada saat apa yang kita inginkan tidak terjadi di hari itu.

Hidup yang kita jalani sebenarnya ada dalam setiap perenungan dan pencarian akan keinginan dan jati diri kita dalam satu hari itu.

Di setiap air mata yang menetes, dan setiap tawa yang terurai,

Disitulah hidup kita berada.

Hidup yang benar-benar tinggal dalam setiap momen yang mengalir,

Hidup yang kita pelajari dari kerelaan kita untuk memberi daripada berharap,

Dan hidup yang ’hidup’ dalam tulusnya ungkapan perasaan masing-masing dari kita ketika hari mencapai pekatnya.

Inilah hidup itu, sambut kedatangannya dan hiduplah dalam setiap detik Ia berjalan.

Rayakan setiap hal yang ia coba untuk ajarkan kepada kita.

Dan jangan pernah menghindar untuk menyapa wajah paraunya,

Karena dalam setiap goresan yang ia torehkan adalah awal yang akan mengantarkan kita kepada kebahagiaan yang selama ini kita cari

Life does not always be its best in every single day but it’s still always good to live at!

1,154 responses so far

Jan 08 2008

Can you stand the rain?

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

When
Life Gets Tough:

How do
you survive when life gets tough?
How do
you hang on when you are grieving, lonely or broke?
You
can only tackle your problems as you would climb a
mountain…
If you
go rock climbing - and you get stuck on a ledge - you suddenly focus on the
present moment!
You
forget about the future. All your effort goes into your next step. Then your
next step. Inch by inch.
Eventually you claw your way out.
The
same strategy works for everyday life.
When
things seem desperate, you fix your focus on the present moment. You tackle one
problem at a time. You take a step. you get a little confidence… and take
another step, and another.
Eventually you find the worst is over.
If you
worry about
a)
everything you need to do the next month, or
b)everything that could go wrong in the next year, you could go
nuts!
And
whenever 24 hours is too tough, bite off five minutes at a
time.
In a
nutshell: All you can do is give your best effort until bedtime. Let tomorrow
take care of itself.

Just moment to moment—–in equanimity

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Jan 13 2007

A humble confession

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

it’s just another life story of a young man who’s been struggling to grasp the essense of life might send his way

know the quote of Life wouldnt have been the same without love?

As I glanced over the steps I’ve taken back then in the past years, I discover that we will hardly find the love one if we’re still stuck on our world.

Taking the others for granted is all we did all the times to secure the inside feeling which sometimes roaring a hollow sound

And we know that we dont quite understand what exactly our feeling is at the moment,

all we know is that those feelings are real, it craves you with the strong icy drugs

I remember when couple days ago I stood up for a long time in front of my mirror, looking into my eyes that were full of anxiety and desperateness for love.

I could see it and it’s real…that myself is demanding for the one.

those feelings raised me up from all the sudden, it nurtures me just like the way I’ve always imagined it would be.

But there’s one thing that I still dont understand

I dont know where she is…where’s that someone whom I’m destined to be with?

Among the million people’s eyes…I guess it wouldnt be like a a piece of cake to recognise

Even along the walks of life I’ve been through…there’s a very little time to stop by and searching that infintiy on a particular person.

To find the one whom we’re really in love with is like the evidence of the falling stars. it just happens couple of times.

Even though we randomly met with hot girls or sweet chicks in town, sometimes it’s just not like what we wanted to be.

I’m greeding for love and this odd cirscumtances pushed me around to fight with the edge of time.

At some point I heard the inside of me saying things like.." Get out, make yourselves in the crowd of the people…there’s someone out there who’s been waiting for you. Now it’s your time to show the world who you are and what always remains within your heart."

The call was awaiting me at the front terrace at that moment, So I popped up my mind and pulled the rope.

As i got really enthusiastic afterward, responding to those crooky thoughts, I swung the spirit all the whole way. I was on my way of doing it. The machine was on and i was obviously on the track. But then I lost my courage in the middle of the road, the girl has never shown up to me. And I just became the anxious-poor guy who dropped the cake before getting in the way to the party.

People say it’s hard to be sure whom you want to look and be with, and I guess it’s barely true to see when it goes that way.

Now I found out that it’s harder to take the rope before you’re really sure that you wont be down if you unleash it.

I just wanna do good things in my life…and Now no matter whether I’ll meet the one in short or it might also be in hella long of time, i believe inside my heart that the time has been schedulled for every single of the passanger of the love plane. it’s just about time and it takes great patient for an outstanding outcomes.

No matter how hard you try, looking for a girl to spent time with and replace the one’s position…you’ll still be in lost in that denial…because that way you have lied to yourselves that the one is exists.

You’ll find the one right when the plane is taking off…because there you’re gonna walk with someone who’s been arranged to walk with you towards the gate.

and when exactly is that..we never know.

People say that to live your life for some others than yourselves will make you stronger than ever regardless of how horrible your life is because of love.

to love the others will gives you glory, peace and joy that you might not be able to find in any of the imaginary love with someone.

and that’s what ‘m trying to do now before that real "someone" knocks on my door and asks me for a little walk.

this is my confession.

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Dec 08 2006

You give me somethin’

Published by jovha under Uncategorized


You only stay with me in the morning, 
You only hold me when I sleep, 
I was meant to tread the water, 
But now I've gotten in too deep, 
For every piece of me that wants you, 
Another piece backs away. 

'Cause you give me something, 
That makes me scared alright, 
This could be nothing, 
But I'm willin to give it a try, 
Please give me something, 
Cause someday I might know in my heart. 

You only waited out for hours, 
Just to spend a little time alone with me, 
And I can say I've never bought you flowers, 
I can't work out what they mean, 
I'd never thought that I'd love someone, 
That was someone elses dream. 

'Cause you give me something, 
That makes me scared alright, 
This could be nothing, 
But I'm willing to give it a try, 
Please give me something, 
Cause someday I might call you from my heart. 

But it might be a second too late, 
And the words that I could never say, 
Are gonna come out anyway. 

'Cause you give me something, 
That makes me scared alright, 
This could be nothing, 
But I'm willing to give it a try, 
Please give me something, 

Oh 'Cause you give me something, 
That makes me scared alright, 
This could be nothing, 
But I'm willing to give it a try, 
Please give me something, 
Cause someday I might know in my heart. 

Know in my heart, 
Know in my heart, 
Know in my heart.
---James Morrison---

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Sep 27 2006

Cocoon

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

Based on your smile
I'm betting all of this might be over soon
But you're bound to win
Cause if I'm betting against you
I think I'd rather lose

But, this is all that I have
So please
Take what's left of this heart and use
Please use only what you really need
You know I only have so little, so please
Mend your broken heart and leave

I know it's not your style
And I can tell by the way that you move
It's real, real soon
But I'm on your side
And I don't want to be your regret
I'd rather be your cocoon

But this is all that you have
So please
Let me take what's left of your heart
And I will use
I swear I'll use only what I need
I know you only have so little, so please
Let me mend my broken heart
And you said this was all you have
And it's all I need
But blah blah blah
Because it fell apart
And I guess it's all you knew
And all I had
But now we have only confused hearts
I guess all we had is really all we need

So please lets take these broken hearts and use
Lets use only what we really need
You know we only have so little
So please
Take these broken hearts and leave 

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Aug 26 2006

Where the wind flows?

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

Sometimes I thought that a life that I’m going through right now is just really odd in someway as the way it used to be…
There was a moment when I felt that most of what I’m doing is always ended up to a boredom,anxiety,restlessness,…which I could never discover where the hell did it come from?
Once the feeling arised, I started to think…
What do actually I’m doing in this life?
What does I’m looking for in the life I’m passing through?
What is happiness…what is joy….
What is the pure being that we’re trying to figure out?
Why did people always talk about their family…their friends…their companion…What if some people didn’t have one as the others did? Would it be fair enough for them then?
I mean…What is going on in this life?
And I always said to myself…I dont know…I’m sorry for you, myself , that you’re now stuck in that sort of rethorical questions and I couldn’t do anything but depressed…
I do always thought whatever we had done is the part of destiny,
Like the death that has always been the part of lives,
And When someone has came in and out of our life as well..
I mean..You’re never to find out whether this person or those people are gonna come across your life encounter…It just happened like that..they came..and here you go to greet them….walk the talk together with them either constantly or ocassionally…and later on…they are somewhat becoming the part of your life which is inseparable in some people opinion…
Is it a destiny….or maybe it was just a happy coinscidence that just happened slight away…
Too complicated…too perplexing to be altered as one of a subject…
But there’s one thing that kept me believe and to hang on in those lonely time even when the excitement is no longer overwhelm me…
Some part of my life has written down to be spent with them,
that’s why..No matter whether it’s a lucky coinscidence or not,
They had certainly came by my journey..stayed within my heart and walked beside me to get rid of this unideal life…
When I felt like that…alone…nobody else was around…and nothing i could do
Their memories reveled up suddenly…and it outrageously hit the big spot of me right on the front of my face just like a wind…a rocky wind!
it came out and snapped me out for a moment…Then it turned out to a such peaceful and nourishing feeling as fresh as the wind itself…and then disappeared to somewhere I don’t know…
Right after that….the feeling was healed…and I slighly woke up from that past memories…
I stood up  and stumbled of my bed where I lay myself down…
Then I was so quiet for a sec…
Smiling within my self…
And feeling so grateful that I’ve known them…which is totally the contrary of what I was feeling before…
And I got myself to turn back to my former question above…
Is this my destiny to meet them…Is this my destiny to feel the longing toward them and is this my destiny to feel eventually happy that they’re the part of my life?
Then what’s my destiny gonna be look like?
How is it in the years ahead when the people I will meet are gonna be so various and may be whole lot different than What I’ve got now…
Again…I dont know…i dont know where does this life direct to…it’s barely still a vague prediction
And it seems to me that I’m gonna have to figure it out myself
As What I have done in the past…looking for something I never know a lil bit…
Then is it true that this is my destiny…or does everything is kinda just come by in the middle of my life discovery like the wind blows that flows undirectedly…
I dont know,,but I guess….perhaps both of them are true
Maybe both happened at the same time…
As the destiny has written down for every single of us…these life phenomenas just came up suddenly to us like the wind flows across you.

" Life is like a box of chocolate…you’ll never know what you’re gonna get"
                                                                                    - Forrest Gump-

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Aug 16 2006

The Rain

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

I remember the rain.

Not much else.

Sitting on the porch crying

Even though nobody else was,

And I watched my tears

Blend with the rain

To form puddles

Which dripped into the street

And were splashed up by the cars

as they turned into the driveway

Ruining my new turf shoes

But I didn’t care

Because they gave me blisters.

I couldn’t help but wonder

If the rain could wash my tears

All the way to the ocean(Which was only down the block)

And eventually to the Golden State.

I Had tried to send bottle there once

But found it the next day

Washed up on the shore

So I didn’t think my tears would make it either.

I threw a rock into the drainpipe

That used to be my favorite hiding spot

And it made a hollow sound

Which was how I felt inside

When everybody told me

How sorry they were

And patted my sopping hair,

I just sat out in the rain

Until they all left

Which wasn’t long

Because no one wanted to stay.

I didn’t wave goodbye,

Just stared into the rain,

The only thing in life

That seemed consistent

And that always been.

As long as I remember her,

I will remember the rain.

 

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Aug 05 2006

Heart as a Servant

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

This is dedicated to my Almighty God
for His grace and blessing that i can get through all the craps life brings me
I never Knew what’s in His plan
But I knew that whatever happens…I shall not be afraid and give up
Because the love He gave me is something here to stay
He ’s the one who really knew who I am and What I am beyond even the closest companion
I am too little to pay for all the things He’s blessed me for
So here I am…
This is all what I have
A heart as Your servant…loyal and trully devoted to You my Father
Everywhre I go…here I take it with me
my only heart exhaling Yiour gracious Power
In the wheels of lives….forever thoroughout the time and space

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Jul 20 2006

A time to cling

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

I have never imagined to drift apart from someone…

I did experience parting from someone/people in my life…but this is different

Once I realized the moment we laughed and cried together…I felt terrifically happy and am grateful that God gave me the destiny to meet them in my life journey…

they are the people whom I can always count on to…they are the people who have the courage to strive on their goals….and they are the people who’s always been there for me in bad times and good times….

Just a week ago…an memorable event was taken place….we, who were there, have already knew what is going to happen….A little sweet farewell came to greet the all of us who were burst instantly into tears…

I am glad that we still had the time to see at each other’s eyes and gave the warmest hugs before we face the detachment and deal with our sentimentil moments at past….being with you is the best present I’ve ever realized…

now that you’re away…well, sort of…and just at that moment I realize how important someone’s value is when they’re away….

How wonderful the time we’ve shared when I no longer hold it anymore…

How thankful I am that I’ve been choosen as the one who had the chance to walk together w/ you….

So this is our memories…grab and keep it in the very special place in your heart and if someday it comes to call you, just remember that we’ve been passing that road before….

together, You and I will never be alone because the love we had created will leads us to a place far from beyond.

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Jul 19 2006

Self doubt: Am I alone?

Published by jovha under Uncategorized

Another story to read…

I often thought that the mistery in life was never to be discovered…

Even for those who have reached their mature age are still wondering what actually their life suppposed to be and how scary it is in the lonesome moment when the emptiness passing through the sorrows…

I used to think that every evidence has been destined for the most of us…but unfortunately we can’t learn to destine our loneliness…

then who should we blame for that…should those who were not w/ us at that time be the only suspect? Hell No!!….Nor ourselves who experienced the matter…Then Who?

No one should take that guilty feeling….just now is to think of do we really care about ourselves or not….do we spend the happy times together with our sense of being or we just flattered by the beauty in the past which makes us dwelling in it too much….how wise we could take in and out the attachment to the others….all those questions are just about to be identified as soon as we know what is the sense of self….

generally speaking…in common sense, this life was unlikely to be true…so many unexpected awareness of the other’s behavior on behalf of their way of thinking blowed up suddenly…however, it does affect us in judging our feeling to them…the thing is quiet simple …we want to love and to be loved….but the question start to pop up in our mind when we think: Am I Lovable?

Detach that feeling from our own sense of self from the sudden emotion to the others ain’t as easy as we flip this hand over…once we think about our sense,it’s basically will be directed to the limitations of what self might mean to us….

From that stage we start to questioning about some rethorical questions…

Who am I? What do I want? What is my life for and about?

and all those questions above mostly came up when we feel the lonesome….it’s exceptionally useful to understand about the simple thought towards our lonely time…we need not to be restless and depressed when no one is beside us and we start to feel the self blaming for that loneliness….because it’s only a simple reason also to understand that your sense of self is the one that’ll always be with you wherever you are…..

The capacity to be comfortably alone flows from satisfying experiences of being with someone else. What’s more, satisfying experiences of being with someone else fuel a continuing capacity to be alone, without feeling adrift or lonely.

Now that you know that all the loneliness shouldn’t be too awful to face because we are able to change it into some nourishing completeness of ourselves…it’s now supposed to be your turn to get rid of that loneliness (when you feel that way) and revel joyfully in the beauty of life.

‘ Sitting on the fence ‘

"Come sit down beside me,"

I said to myself,

And although it doesn’t make sense,

I held my own hand

As a small sign of trust

And together I sat on the fence

                     - Michael Leunig -

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